I always thought that traveling is a serious thing - you get the chance to experience new culture, to meet new people, to know the history of a local place and to learn the local dialects and languages of a particular locale.
|Photo by Stock Exchange|
But, there are some moments during your travels that you can't afford to forget because those were just simply hilarious.
Read along as I share some of my travel anecdotes. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!
SIDE A SIDE B Band
Last November 2011, I, together with some members of Davao Bloggers took the second to the last bus trip to General Santos City. We went to the tuna capital to attend two events - Blogfest 2.0 and Philippine Blog Awards. The night prior the trip, I prepared all of my stuff - clothes to wear during the awards night, toiletries and etc.
It was around 7:00 PM when the bus finally left Davao. I decided to doze off. The bus was barely moving due to rush-hour traffic.
8:00 PM. My dad called.
"Kuya, nasaan na kayo? (Son, where are you?)", he asked.
"Po? Nasa Sta. Cruz [the first municipality of Davao del Sur] na kami. Why? (We're now in Sta. Cruz. Why?)"
"Siguradong hindi ka na babalik dito? (Are you sure you're not going back here?)"
I thought dad was being irrational or what.
"Siyempre, hindi! (Of course not!)"
"Naiwan mo kasi mga brip mo! (You left your briefs!)"
I thought dad was joking. So I checked my bag. Not once, not twice, but many times. It took me ten seconds before it finally dawned on me that I indeed left my briefs in my room.
"Shit!", I muttered.
Dad laughed so hard. I could even hear mom's laughter over the phone. And also my brother's. And also my cousin's.
And oh, don't ask what I did after that. The title says it all.
* * *
Shut up is the new 'Thank You'
Last April 2011, my cousin and I went to Iloilo to visit our relatives and as well as to attend my interview at West Visayas State University. While onboard, I asked my cousin for some important Hiligaynon phrases.
“Hipos bala is thank you”, he said.
“Huh? I thought it’s salamat gid?”
“Basta, trust me! I’ve been to Iloilo many times na.”
So yeah, I thought he was serious. My cousin is fond of making jokes and it’s really hard to discern if he’s serious or not (or am I really THAT gullible?!)
The next day, we hailed a jeep that plied the route to Robinsons. The jeep was almost full, in which most of the passengers were old ladies. My cousin and I were the only men inside the jeep aside from the driver. I remembered his tip and I was thinking of being courteous to the old ladies. With confidence, I grabbed my coinpurse and handed them our fare.
With a faux Ilonggo intonation , “Manang paabot, bayad namon, duha ka bilog, hipos bala!”
Everyone was staring at me. What the fuck. My cousin elbowed me and whispered something, “Ba’t mo sinabi ang hipos bala? You know me naman na I was joking yesterday!”
The old lady in front of me laughed.
“Ay ‘to, indi ka man Ilonggo ah!” (Boy, you’re not an Ilonggo!)
“Ano po pala ang hipos bala?” (What’s hipos bala?)
“Naku hijo, kung sa Ingles pa yan, shut up na!” (Boy, it’s shut up in English!)
We all laughed but honestly I was a bit embarrassed, pero keri ko pa rin.
* * *
Lost and not Found!
Still in Iloilo, unfortunately.
I woke up early to catch up my scheduled interview at WVSU which was around seven in the morning. It was intense whilst the panelists spoke in Iewrhjiwweifwfiwof language.
"Rgrretiwepdedioewpdwgid 'to?", one of the panelists asked.
I just smiled. The "What-the-fuck" smile.
"Ay taga Davao ka pala, pasensya na gid!"
Interview was shit - I'm screwed. I decided to meet up with my cousin at SM City (Mandurriao) and eat lunch there. So, I took a jeep and this time, I was on the right direction... or so I thought.
Again, I didn't ask the driver if he will take me to SM. Basically, I just took a random jeep and guess what? The jeep took me to a random place too! Wow, I never thought that there's a place in Iloilo named Brgy. Random. Anyway, the last thing I remembered about this particular jeepney ride was this: I was still in the downtown area when all of the sudden, I saw big ships and a lot of people selling palengke goods along the street! Shoot!
What I did was, I got off the jeep after it made its way back to the downtown area and hailed a cab to SM. Sucks to be me.
* * *
'Til Fart Do Us Part
Just last May, me and my mom together with my uncle, aunt and cousin traveled all the way to Boracay to attend my second cousin's wedding. From Iloilo City, it will take you at least 6 hrs before reaching Caticlan Port. The bus had its technical stop somewhere in Aklan. It was almost twelve noon and all of the passengers decided to take lunch at a nearby carinderia. My mom and her sister (my aunt) lined up to order some food.
Mom was about to order our food when she smelled something.
"Ate, ba't nangangamoy imburnal tong carinderia na 'to? Kadiri naman oh! (Sister, why does this eatery smells so bad? It's so unhygienic!)" mom whispered to my aunt.
"Shhhhh, 'wag kang maingay! Ako yun! Umutot lang ako! (Shhhhh, be quiet! I just farted!"
"SHET KA TALAGA ATE! FEELING KO NALANGHAP KO LAHAT NG UTOT MO!"
My aunt laughed so hard. Mom did the same thing.
Several minutes later, mom had migraine, all thanks to her sister's powerful jet blast.
* * *
I have more stories to tell but I think this post is already a TLDR one.